hollingsworth family blog

Kai, Kai... Flutterbye
Curly, whirly, happy & spry
Love, laugh, sing & cry
Oh my little Flutterbye... Kai

so... i've been having some pretty regular, intense braxton hicks contractions (or what i thought were braxton hicks) since last friday and they had been getting more frequent and stronger all weekend.
we took kai to get her lab work done at groegetown yesterday (she was so cute; she told her phlebotomist she loved her and gave her a big hug with pats on the back!) and, as i was squirming and breathing through my discomfort in the car, ryan urged me to give my midwife a call just to be on the safe side.
they had me come in for a quick check and hooked me up to the monitors for about an hour only to discover that it looked like i was in preterm labor. i needed to go to the hospital where they could run more tests and take action to stop the progress, if they could.
i rushed home and, once again, some of our amazing friends pulled through and took kai for us while other friends and neighbors waited on standby if need be (thank you jess, russ and everyone!! we love you!). we rushed out the door to Mercy and were admitted upon arrival.
luckily, my water had not ruptured and i was only slightly dilated and effaced (the midwife there said the dilation could have been from having a baby before but i'm pretty sure when my midwife checked last i was completely closed).
the good news was, i wasn't in full on labor and it could be stopped but, it did need to be stopped because the contractions are too regular (2-7 minutes apart) and strong, too early and seemed to be making some slow progression... and i'm still 2 full months away from my due date.
they gave me iv fluids and a shot of something that stopped the contractions, did a sonogram to make sure i had enough fluid and that the baby was okay (he is... and whoa, buddy is he ever a boy!) and sent me home on modified bed rest. i have to follow up with my midwife to get a prescription for the pill form of the shot they gave me to keep the contractions at bay, possibly some steroids to strengthen his lungs, just in case, and i have to stay down as much as i can.
so, we will not be refusing any help offered if anyone wants to come and hang out at our house and help with kai! we are also, possibly, looking to hire someone temporarily to help out if need be, if anyone knows anyone.
we just need 4 more weeks until he's considered full term!

I'm posting this a little early, but, in about another month (Nov. 28th) my little girl will be 2! I can't believe it's been 2 years...

We've been through a lot but, Kai is now strong and thriving and, aside from the scars, you'd never be able to tell what she's been through. We still have to be very careful about her getting sick as any virus could cause her to reject and historically has resulted in at least a week's stay in the hospital, but she is down to only 1 medication and on a very low dose (this is from around 20 medications or so in the beginning)!

Kai and I almost share a birthday and, soon after I turn 30, we expect the arrival of her new baby brother, Reef Wallace.

Instead of gifts, if you feel so inclined, we are asking contributions be made to one of the following organizations in Kai's name:

Georgetown University Hospital-Georgetown Transplant Institute Center for Immunology
http://www.georgetownuniversityhospital.org/body.cfm?id=1324

Cincinnati Children's Hospital-Liver Care Center
http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/give/default.htm

Donate Life
http://www.donatelife.net/HowYouCanHelp/

And, please remember to register in your state as an organ donor! It's so easy and so important!

Well, we've gone and done it... turned into full-blown hippies! (Haha!)

After our aforementioned experiences earlier in this pregnancy, we decided to look into alternative birth options. We have had enough of hospitals and tests and anxiety over medical issues, real or perceived.

We did a lot of research... books, documentaries, interviewing doctors, midwives, people who have had just about every kind of birth experience imaginable, and, after carefully reviewing our options, we have decided on a home birth with a Certified Nurse Midwife.

As it turns out, it's not a crazy as we thought! We promise there will be no videos of me squatting in a dark corner, shaking a rattle and chanting or anything like that. It's actually pretty "normal". The midwife comes to your home around the same time your doctor would tell you to come into the hospital. She brings with her a whole laundry list of medical equipment, including a neonatal resuscitation kit. If there is an emergency, I will be transported to a hospital. Statistics show that transport time from home to hospital/OR is often the same as L&D unit to OR.

Home birth may not be for everyone and we feel that each mother/family must do what they feel is best for them. This is simply the approach that feels right to us.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to touch base with us!

I look at you today, vibrant and alive, and cannot believe that you are the same child who almost wasn't.
The same tiny baby, so sick and swollen, back arched in pain, fighting for her life.
The same pale body, wrapped in a web of tubes and wires and bandages as I sat by your side, endlessly, watching... waiting for you to turn pink... to open your eyes... to smile.
I look at you now, your dancing eyes. Your bubbling, contagious laugh. Your tangle of curls struggling to free themselves, as bouncing and full of life as you are as you run and dance across the room. The only tell-tale signs: a scar arching from one side of your perfect little belly to the other and the frequent bruise on your arm from the needle sticks.
You: my own personal ray of sunshine.
I pray that, someday, you too will know this joy, but never the pain of almost losing it.

In a former note, I detailed our recent experience with the 12 week 1st trimester screening. To sum it up, we received an "abnormal" result based on an increased nuchal fold measurement (nothing more than that), and were urged to undergo further invasive testing based on admittedly inconclusive evidence that our baby might have a 1 in 13 chance of having down syndrome or other, potentially fatal, chromosomal defects, which we had then refused.

At this point, we were considered "high risk" and underwent 4 additional sonograms, including a fetal echo cardiogram. At 19 weeks, we were told we, again, had an abnormal result and were urged to pursue additional testing. We were told that our risk of having a health issue was now significantly increased and, rarely, in this situation, would the baby turn out to be "okay".
Keep in mind, the ONLY marker for abnormalities that was found throughout this process was the increased nuchal fold measurement. Everything else about the baby looked perfectly fine.

We decided to have an amniocentesis, which we were told would give us definitive results and put the issue to rest, one way or the other. We were also told that, if we waited until later in the pregnancy, the risk of miscarriage (which is roughly estimated to be 1/200-1/300) would decrease, however, our hospital did not offer the procedure after 20 weeks.

After almost 2 months of agonizing over whether or not there might be something "wrong" with our baby, we have received the amnio results, as well as results from the echo cardiogram. All results came back negative, meaning they couldn't find anything wrong with the baby.
Despite this, we were told we "need" to pursue additional testing because something could still be wrong. My response, "No thank you."

While relieved to know that my baby seems to be perfectly fine, this experience has left me feeling frustrated and disenchanted. These tests and processes are an industry-wide standard in obstetrics today. I feel as though I was pushed into making the decision to undergo a risky procedure that I did not want or else spend the next 5 months of my pregnancy worried, stressed and depressed based on, let me reiterate, INCONCLUSIVE evidence that is often incorrect according to many national and international studies.

As many of you know, I am no stranger to medicine, surgery and medical practices. We spent our first year with Kai in and out of hospitals, fighting for her life. I am certainly a proponent of NECESSARY medicine but I think there are a lot of practices that are unnecessary that have become a standard and the only way we can define the line between the two is to inform ourselves. There needs to be a balance.

Why am I telling you this? Because you have the right to be informed. We all are told we "need" these tests but, while there is decidedly some benefit to knowing early in some cases, there is also a downside. We have the right to know, beforehand, what these tests are for, what the possible outcome and consequences could be and what our options are.

I'm not suggesting expecting mothers deny this testing, but you have the right to make an informed decision and most OB's do not go into detail about what this testing is for and the possible outcome unless you specifically inquire. Even then, in my experience, I've found them to be very cryptic.

I found 2 articles with detailed information on prenatal testing. One that emphasized the positive aspects of it and one that includes information on the more negative aspects. If you or someone you know is expecting or planning to become pregnant, please consider reading them.

Pregnancy & Newborn: The Truth About Prenatal Testing
http://www.pnmag.com/blog/Good_Health/The_truth_about_prenatal_testing

Vegan Pregnancy: Prenatal Testing; Making an Informed Choice
http://www.vegfamily.com/vegan-pregnancy/prenatal-testing-informed-choice.htm

article sited from:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/organ-donation/fl00077

Myth No. 1.
If I agree to donate my organs, my doctor or the emergency room staff won't work as hard to save my life. They'll remove my organs as soon as possible to save somebody else.

Reality. When you go to the hospital for treatment, doctors focus on saving your life — not somebody else's. You'll be seen by a doctor whose specialty most closely matches your particular emergency. The doctor in charge of your care has nothing to do with transplantation.

Myth No. 2.
Maybe I won't really be dead when they sign my death certificate. It'll be too late for me if they've taken my organs for transplantation. I might have otherwise recovered.

Reality. Although it's a popular topic in the tabloids, in reality, people don't start to wiggle a toe after they're declared dead. In fact, people who have agreed to organ donation are given more tests to determine that they are truly dead than are those who haven't agreed to organ donation.

Myth No. 3.
Organ donation is against my religion.

Reality. Organ donation is consistent with the beliefs of most religions. This includes Catholicism, Protestantism, Islam and most branches of Judaism. If you're unsure of or uncomfortable with your faith's position on donation, ask a member of your clergy. Another option is to check the federal Web site OrganDonor.gov, which provides religious views on organ donation and transplantation by denomination.

Myth No. 4.
I'm under age 18. I'm too young to make this decision.

Reality. That's true, in a legal sense. But your parents can authorize this decision. You can express to your parents your wish to donate, and your parents can give their consent knowing that it's what you wanted. Children, too, are in need of organ transplants, and they usually need organs smaller than those an adult can provide.

Myth No. 5.
I want my loved one to have an open-casket funeral. That can't happen if his or her organs or tissues have been donated.

Reality. Organ and tissue donation doesn't interfere with having an open-casket funeral. The donor's body is clothed for burial, so there are no visible signs of organ or tissue donation. For eye donation, an artificial eye is inserted, the lids are closed, and no one can tell any difference. For bone donation, a rod is inserted where bone is removed. With skin donation, a very thin layer of skin similar to a sunburn peel is taken from the donor's back. Because the donor is clothed and lying on his or her back in the casket, no one can see any difference.

Myth No. 6.
I'm too old to donate. Nobody would want my organs.

Reality. There's no defined cutoff age for donating organs. Organs have been successfully transplanted from donors in their 70s and 80s. The decision to use your organs is based on strict medical criteria, not age. Don't disqualify yourself prematurely. Let the doctors decide at your time of death whether your organs and tissues are suitable for transplantation.

Myth No. 7.
I'm not in the greatest health, and my eyesight is poor. Nobody would want my organs or tissues.

Reality. Very few medical conditions automatically disqualify you from donating organs. The decision to use an organ is based on strict medical criteria. It may turn out that certain organs are not suitable for transplantation, but other organs and tissues may be fine. Don't disqualify yourself prematurely. Only medical professionals at the time of your death can determine whether your organs are suitable for transplantation.

Myth No. 8.
I would like to donate one of my kidneys now, rather than wait until my death. But I hear you can't do that unless you're a close family member of someone in need.

Reality. While that used to be the case, it isn't any longer. Whether it's a distant family member, friend or complete stranger you want to help, you can donate a kidney through certain transplant centers.

If you decide to become a living donor, you will undergo extensive questioning to ensure that you are aware of the risks and make sure you're giving away your kidney out of pure goodwill and not in return for financial gain. You will also undergo testing to determine that your kidneys are in good shape and that you can live a healthy life with just one kidney.

You can also donate blood or bone marrow during your lifetime. Contact your local chapter of the American Red Cross for details on where you can donate or sign up.

Myth No. 9.
Rich, famous and powerful people always seem to move to the front of the line when they need a donor organ. There's no way to ensure that my organs will go to those who've waited the longest or are the neediest.

Reality. The rich and famous aren't given priority when it comes to allocating organs. It may seem that way because of the amount of publicity generated when celebrities receive a transplant, but they are treated no differently from anyone else. In fact, the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS), the organization responsible for maintaining the national organ transplant network, subjects all celebrity transplants to an internal audit to make sure the organ allocation was appropriate.

Myth No. 10.
My family will be charged if I donate my organs.

Reality. The organ donor's family is never charged for donating. The family is charged for the cost of all final efforts to save your life, and those costs are sometimes misinterpreted as costs related to organ donation. Costs for organ removal go to the transplant recipient.

Register to be an organ donor in your state here: http://www.donatelife.net/CommitToDonation/

i've debated about writing this on the internet but, after 2 friends told me that my experience has potentially influenced their decisions on this subject in the future, i feel compelled. it also serves the additional purpose of updating those of you who have been aware of what has been going on lately...

at 12 weeks gestation with our current pregnancy, we had something called a 1st trimester screening (appx. 4 weeks ago). i was ignorant as to what this was and didn't pursue any additional information about it, thinking it was just a sonogram. the 1st trimester screening, however, looks at the nuchal translucency, a flap of skin on the back of the baby's neck that is filled with fluid between 10 and 13 weeks. if one's baby has a "normal" or thinner than normal measurement, they give you a thumbs up. if it is thicker than normal, they come in with grave faces and tell you that there is a significant possibility that something is chromosomally abnormal with your child, such as down syndrome or any number or serious to potentially fatal conditions. "normal" is 2.5mm, our baby had a nuchal translucency measurement of 4.3mm.

after being given some very scary statistics, we waited 4 weeks until we could schedule an amniocentesis. 4 agonizing weeks thinking something might be "wrong" or, as the geneticist led us to believe, probably "wrong" with our baby (despite reassurances from our OB that we should assume everything is okay until we have more information).

today we had our appointment for the amniocentesis. 1 in 300 pregnancies that undergo amniocentesis develop complications leading to miscarriage. though that is a fairly negligible percentage, we were still very concerned-not only about the possible results but mostly about the potential risk. especially considering that kai was 1 in 20,000. to us, percentages mean just a roll of the dice.

a very wonderful and special friend offered to watch kai and to take care of me afterward as a resting period is required after the procedure. we dropped her off and rushed on, nervously, to the hospital.

to our surprise, they began with a sonogram to look at the baby's anatomy before setting up for the procedure. we sat for an hour and a half watching the black and white blobs on the screen... head, arms, hands, feet... the sonographer (?) remarked on several occasions that this or that looked very good but told us she couldn't say if something looked abnormal.

we waited anxiously for the doctor to come in and explain the results of the sonogram before going through with the amnio, expecting to hear words like, "slight abnormality" or "indicates a potential problem with...". however, when the doctor came in she said that the baby looked perfect and they couldn't tell us any reason why the results of the 1st trimester screening came out the way it did. this didn't mean that there wasn't a problem but it decreased the likelihood dramatically... did we still want to go through with the amnio? after asking several more questions and discussing it with each other, we decided to wait.

we have 3 more sonograms scheduled before the baby is due. one is a fetal echocardiogram. we decided to wait and see what those scans will reveal.

if we'd never had the 1st trimester screening, we'd never be the wiser. it is a fairly "new" screen that once was only given to high-risk pregnancies but is increasingly being offered to any pregnant woman. for all of my friends who are pregnant or plan to be in the near future, we don't recommend it unless you have reason to believe you are at high risk to begin with.

for now, we have shed our fears and doubts and the stress and turmoil that has come with wondering if something is "wrong" with our baby and decided to allow ourselves to be excited and happy.

by the way... it's a boy. a perfectly beautiful, healthy looking boy. :)